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Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

The IRS! They’re like the Mafia, they can take anything they want! Picture Quote #1

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family Picture Quote #1

Men don’t care what’s on TV. They only care what else is on TV Picture Quote #1

Men want to make women happy Picture Quote #1

I love advertising because I love lying Picture Quote #1

I wonder is illiterate people know the full meaning of alphabet soup? Picture Quote #1

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That’s why breakups take two or three times- to build up immunity Picture Quote #1

Folks who go through the tabloids ought to have to be lied to Picture Quote #1

Elaine: Ugh, I hate people. Jerry: Yeah, they’re the worst Picture Quote #1

Cry when you get a Golden Globe. Then you can get an Oscar nomination Picture Quote #1

I know what I’m doing, just show me somebody naked Picture Quote #1

Men like a ref decision because they just want to get back to the game Picture Quote #1

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There’s more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations Picture Quote #1

If people would only *Look to the Cookie* - all our problems would be solved Picture Quote #1

These pretzels are making me thirsty! Picture Quote #1

I admire the hell out of her. You can’t have sex with someone you admire Picture Quote #1

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish Picture Quote #1

Work is the least important thing and family is the most important Picture Quote #1

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If someone’s lying, are their pants really on fire Picture Quote #1

People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them Picture Quote #1

Success is the enemy of comedy Picture Quote #1

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success Picture Quote #1

I love the day date. No wine, no shower Picture Quote #1

In my world, the wronger something feels, the righter it is Picture Quote #1

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People on dates shouldn’t even be allowed out in public Picture Quote #1

I love being a dad. I just love it Picture Quote #1

Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise Picture Quote #1

Not that there’s anything wrong with that Picture Quote #1

A bookstore is one of the many pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking Picture Quote #1

I’m old, I’m rich and I’m tired Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

The IRS! They’re like the Mafia, they can take anything they want! (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) There is no such thing as fun for the whole family (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) Men don’t care what’s on TV. They only care what else is on TV (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) Men want to make women happy (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) I love advertising because I love lying (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) I wonder is illiterate people know the full meaning of alphabet soup? (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) That’s why breakups take two or three times- to build up immunity (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) Folks who go through the tabloids ought to have to be lied to (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) Elaine: Ugh, I hate people. Jerry: Yeah, they’re the worst. (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) Cry when you get a Golden Globe. Then you can get an Oscar nomination. (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) I know what I’m doing, just show me somebody naked (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) Men like a ref decision because they just want to get back to the game (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) There’s more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) If people would only *Look to the Cookie* - all our problems would be solved (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) These pretzels are making me thirsty! (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) I admire the hell out of her. You can’t have sex with someone you admire. (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) Work is the least important thing and family is the most important (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) If someone’s lying, are their pants really on fire (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) Success is the enemy of comedy (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) I love the day date. No wine, no shower (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) In my world, the wronger something feels, the righter it is (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) People on dates shouldn’t even be allowed out in public (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) I love being a dad. I just love it (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) Not that there’s anything wrong with that (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) A bookstore is one of the many pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) I’m old, I’m rich and I’m tired (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)

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